Vampire Hunter Nessie and the Twin Shadowed Knight
by Master of the Boot
Summary: Nessie is hired by the Volturi to take on a very special job. The job is to bring in alive a warrior unlike any she's ever faced before. A warrior who's stronger, faster, smarter and deadlier than her. A warrior who has a very familiar face.
1. Prologue

Vampire Hunter Nessie and the Twin Shadowed Knight

Disclaimer: I do not own Renesmee or Vampire hunter D. They are very good, but not mine.

This is going to be the first chaptered Nessie story. Since a oneshot is too big for what I'm planning. Lots of cuteness, a bit of horror and a lotta fighting ahead.

Part 1: Prologue

* * *

This facility is really something. From the outside it looks like stone and it's got a strong, some would say bad, gothic style to it. It looks like a giant black dome and it can survive a direct hit from a nuclear bomb. You know, the mega-megaton type.

It has a defence system that's composed of various portal traps, carnivorous nano swarms, bio-engineered monsters, captive supernatural creatures, psychic attack machines and more.

It's been standing there for over nine thousand years. During the Noble Civil Wars, it was the premier weapons designing facility for the royalist faction and has a sister facility called MUMA.

BOOM!

And I just blew up the darn place in under ten minutes. The collective genius of the Noble race: zero. Vampire Hunter Nessie: 1

Give me an N

Give me an E

Give me an S

Give me another S

Give me an I

Give me an E

What does that spell? I'll tell you what it spells. That spells "awesome!"

My name is Renesmee Carlie Cullen and I am a vampire hunter. I'd like to take this time to thank my weapons designer, "Psycho" Ammar Hajar. He's the great nephew of my last weapons designer.

If you see him, you can't miss him. He's tall, Arab, likes to dye his beard blue and every Friday he puts on a red dress and whores himself out at a Syrian transvestite bar called _The Tented Burka. _

If he wasn't so touchy, I'd tell him there are classier places to whore himself out. But hey, it's not my place to question what people do with their free time; especially when they're the best weapons designer on the frontier.

Before I go, I need to inspect the ashes of the facility to see that nothing has survived. Walking along in my knee high buckled boots, foxy leather pants and twin double barrelled shotguns; I am making it look good :) Worship the smiley face!

On my way, I encounter a chunk of wall left. If I leave it here, the whole place will regenerate and I won't get paid. So I shoot it with an anti matter slug round and the piece is vaporized.

A cursory patrol reveals that nothing is left. Even my heart shaped pink scanner glasses show it's all clean.

Time to kick back and relax!

* * *

Okay, while I'm sitting here in my fancy hotel room, lounging in my underwear as several hawt prosti-dudes feed me grapes and massage me, I may as well fill you in on the details.

Ten thousand years ago, I had a boyfriend named D. Later on, D became the world's greatest vampire hunter.

D had a father that was pure evil, named Dracula. By engineering the end of the world, Dracula made himself king of the world. Before he became king, he did something that made me so afraid that I couldn't sleep for a thousand years.

Eventually, I'd had enough of fear. With my father's reluctant help, I armed myself, got training with the deadly arts and became a world class vampire hunter and also the cutest.

Since then everything's been peachy keen. My work is dangerous and with all my experience and skill I barely survive from minute to minute.

That's why I treasure these moments of calm and try to indulge all my dirty hedonistic desires.

I motion to one of the prosti-dudes to come closer. The twenty year old man with a baby smooth face comes in close and gives me the best kiss I've had in five hundred years. It tastes great; it goes perfectly with the grapes I'm eating. He follows me perfectly and leads perfectly.

Before he can kiss me deeper and make me orgasm too quickly, I push him back gently, playfully. "Easy tiger, we're still getting started."

These boys are professionals bought from the best escort service in the city of Edmonchuck. IT's a nice city, located in the far north and powered by geothermal energy. And we're far, far away from the Capitol, but that's not important right now.

Where was I? Oh yeah, man hookers. These guys are trained, but I can see that they're just itching to get a piece of the Ness.

Leaning back on the sofa, I turn down any more grapes. One of them brings a cup of soda to my mouth. It's good stuff; made in Japan. Everything out of Japan is good since the vampire Shogun Hyduki Kikuchi was killed. He was a very poor writer.

My dad would freak if he could see me now; about to be loved up by seven prosti-dudes. My mom would just tell me to go for it. Dear old mom

To start off, I think I'll take the Swedish twins first. I'm a sucker for Baltic men.

_Knock-knock_

Oh no.

_Knock-knock_

Just as things were getting good, something had to interrupt me. Whoever is knocking at that door had better have something good to say, otherwise I'll be very mad.

Since I've been alive a long time, I pick up my sniper rifle first; named Davy 2.0. Davy the original sniper rifle died and now I've got his son. Did I mention the stock doubles as a battle axe blade?

Opening the door, there's nobody there; just an envelope on the ground. Better safe than sorry, I grab a vial of anti-deception powder from my bra and sprinkle a some on the letter.

No reaction. Okay, I guess it's safe.

But then again, safe is a relative term, so I use some of my spit to draw a protective rune on the envelope. Meh, it's not gamorous but it's worked in the past.

I pull out the letter inside and it's nothing but cheap buy-it-anywhere paper. It's not the writing or the paper, it's the seal at the top of the message.

It's a distinct symbol, one that you'd never forget. It's basically a big "V" overtop of an inverted cross. To the sides of the "V" are the cabbalistic hand and stylized sun that looks somehow lifeless.

Suddenly, I get that feeling. It's the feeling I get when I'm not feeling very cute or nice, and I want to hurt people.

I glance over my shoulder at the prosti-dudes. For just a second, one split second in time, they're afraid of me. I see it in their eyes and I snap back to myself.

I could go downstairs and ask everyone in the hotel at shotgun point who delivered the letter but I wouldn't get any answers.

Reaching for my cute peach coloured purse with roses, I grab the cash that they're owned. "Sorry guys, but something came up. Here's your fee and thanks for a nice night."

Now in their eyes I can see disappointment. I've given these guys a bad case of blue balls and I'm really, really sorry for it.

I make sure to give each of them a big hug before I go. I find that hugs are very therapeutic, don't you? I don't need weed when I've got a warm body and a kind heart to just squeeze just so.

I really love hugs.

Unfortunately I'm about to go to a place where there are no hugs. So put on a blanket for the chill up your spine, things are about to get hairy.

So here I am, standing in the worst slum in the Capitol. The sixth century AD living alongside the hundred and twentieth century. This is where the criminals run when they don't want to be found and the mutants try to scratch out a living without resorting to banditry like in the country.

You remember how I told you I was far away from the Capitol? That's only because my worst enemies live here.

Let's back up a bit. Time for a little history lesson.

About three thousand years before the great catacylysm there were no Nobles; but there were vampires.

The vampire genes has been around for a long time and it's spread far and wide. They're in mosquitos and leaches, in hagfish and ticks.

Way back then, there was a species of vampire, just one, which lacked the gene of darkness that defines the Nobility. They never slept, had no fangs and sunlight only made them sparkle.

Because they lacked the gene of darkness dind't mean that they were good. Around one thousand BC, a group of these vampires called the Volturi arose.

The group started off as three, Marcus, Caius and Aro; three Etruscan princes who knew how to crack the whip.

After three thousand years of uncontested power, they were unseated by Dracula and his devil army.

It was a huge blow to the Volturi's pride, bigger than the almost battle from when I was born.

For years, the Volturi hid in the shadows, becoming a terrorist organization that fought an IRA style war against the Nobility. They never amounted to much. Dracula's own private terrorist organizations were efficient and inflicted staggering losses on the Volturi; chasing them across creation and killing members like Alec, Dmitri and the brides.

It wasn't long before the Volturi took a different approach. Instead of fighting the Nobles directly, they trained, equipped and genetically eingineered the humans to be vampire hunters.

Through their proxies, humand and eventually mutant and dhampir, the Volturi started doing real damage to the Noble power structure.

After the fall of the Capitol into human hands, the Volturi stepped in right where they left off.

So if you think that humans rule the Capitol, that this is the one vampire free city on Earth, then you're dead wrong.

The Volturi rule everything. Chances are they know your name, address and family members; they just haven't looked it up yet.

They buy off politicians and own majority shares in mega corporations through third and fourth party transactions. They bring down mayors, generals, governors and enemy vampires like they're nothing.

And the worst part is that nobody knows about it. Unlike the Nobility, the Volturi are happy to stay in the shadows and let the humans think what they want to.

Right now, I'm about to enter their lair because they want to hire me

So here I go; here comes Nessie down the rabbit hole!

* * *

Stay with me, my freaky darlings :D We've got a lot more to go.


	2. Job details

Vampire Hunter Nessie and the Twin Shadowed Knight

Disclaimer: I do not own Nessie, The Oprichniks, Buddhist mythology or Vampire Hunter D.

Part 1: Job details

* * *

So ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the front door of the Volturi. It's a hidden trapdoor in the worst neighbourhood in the Capitol in an alleyway that smells like urine.

You want to be careful when entering the Volturi's front door. It's about a two kilometre drop from the surface to the bottom of the shaft.

Gah! I do love a good freefall. There's something thrilling about plunging two clicks down a five by five foot shaft into the bowels of heck. It reminds me of cliff diving back home.

Wait, must suppress bad memories.

Any-hoo, I'm falling at near terminal velocity and the wind is rushing through my hair. Putting my feet and hands on the sides of the tunnel, I slow myself down to avoid any injury.

I've got an unholy case of the burns on my hands but I'm a big gurl and I won't cry.

The shaft is behind me and ahead of me is the maze.

I know the way through the maze. If you don't know the way through the maze, you're better off someplace else.

I know every turn of this maze. There's no light here. I move purely by memory. With my eidetic memory, I know where every pebble and speck of dust is sitting.

Did you ever watch that episode of SpongeBob where he learns how to drive? No. Well, it was over ten thousand years ago. Not everybody remembers the little yellow sponge that lived under the sea. _Sniff_. It makes me so sad.

Wait, I must be strong, for everyone's memory, SpongeBob included.

Here we are, right turn number two hundred seventy five. Down this way the walls change from the grey plascrete that they were.

Now the walls are grey stone, granite. Water drips down the walls and my eyes can't see a thing.

Heading down the hall, I need to stoop down to avoid hitting my head. I'm a tell girl; six feet, you know.

I remember the next part by the smell. It smells like a hundred thousand dogs used the toilet and nobody picked up after them.

I walk carefully to avoid the ten foot dung heaps and puddles of pee on the floor.

The eyes of a giant beast light up the cave like a searchlight for me. It's like a fox, but the size of a bear and with six legs. It looks at me and I pet it.

Animals love me and the Volturi know it. I run my hands through the beast's smelly fur and scratch its tender spots.

In a very un-fox like way, it purrs its pleasure out. I whisper to it. "Good doggie. Who's a good doggie? I love you, doggie."

After picking out some of its fleas, I let it go on its way, slightly happier than before.

The fox creature leaves and I'm back in the dark again. Time to move ahead.

The spot ahead is different again. It's all shiny ceramics and powerful lights; think a hospital in the Soviet Union at midnight when the furnace is broken and it's winter outside.

My eyes adapt instantly to the bright light. Darn it, this place smells clinical. You know that sterile smell of alcohol and steel; that's the smell of this place.

I hear footsteps and I look to the right of me. Coming down a hall is a marauder; a grotesque type of cyborg who spread like a disease through nano robots.

I encountered a band of these things three years ago when they attacked a small village before leaving.

This is an ugly sucker. Most of the face has been replaced by a grill like the front of a car, except for this psycho grin that's held in place with metal wire at the corners.

I can tell it's female because it has curvy hips and the breasts have been replaced with some kind of chemical thrower.

The marauder walks right past me, just _grinning_. It walks right past and I pretend not to notice.

So the Volturi are the ones who took control of the marauders three years ago. Since the fall of the last human government, marauders have been totally uncontrollable, until today.

So far I've walked from post apocalyptic to medieval to medical and now I'm in a prison environment. The grey concrete and iron walls look right out of Alcatraz.

Inside row after row of jail cells are classic supernatural demons who survived the apocalypse. Most of them are fae who hailed from Ireland. Yep, the Volturi have the world's most successful fairy breeding program. These twisted fairies don't look a thing like the "fairies" that the Nobility have created. Inside one of the cells, a woman with dragonfly wings and limbs as thin as my fingers propositions me. She promises me a good time.

I politely say no and give the fae woman a cookie. Sure they're prisoners, but that doesn't mean that I have to kick sand in their faces. The fae woman thanks me and eats that cookie like it's the last in the world.

At the end of the jail section I spot a familiar face. It's the red haired vampire from my youth, Siobhan; the Unstet whose power is to influence the future according to her will.

We hug and greet one another. Siobhan joined the Volturi shortly after the apocalypse, when Maggie, Liam and Sarah were killed. Only she and Benjamin survived.

Lots of vampires, driven by vengeance towards the Nobles, traded their freedom for the black Volturi robes.

I tease her a bit. "Hey Siobhan, how are those robes fitting?"

"Don't try to sass me, lass. I'm the same dress size as I ever was."

We break apart the hug and I can't wait to beak her a bit more. "Really, I thought you were looking a little heavy."

She frowns playfully at me. "Alright, dear tot, now you're asking fer a smackin." Don't let the supernatural beauty fool you, Siobhan is a pure tomboy. She'll knock your blinking block off. And her accent is so cool. I wish I had one just like it; but when I try to talk like her I just feel silly.

"So what does Aro need this time; does she want me to help him find his pen?"

Siobhan's face turns stony. "Don't ask me what that man wants. He'll tell you when you meet him."

I suddenly get stony in the face. So many familiar faces that I knew and loved are either dead or members of the Volturi guard. They recruited aggressively even before their downfall and I fear it's only a matter of time before they target me and my family.

Siobhan points me in the right direction and I move to the last section. The decorative theme behind this last section is religious.

The Capitol is built on top of the ruins of an ancient city called Rome. Once Rome was the head of a vast empire which eventually became capital city of the Catholic Church.

Given the Nobles white European centric worldview, they thought that destroying the Vatican and building their Capitol on it would be a great move. Personally if I was a Noble, I'd have taken over Philadelphia. It's a nice city and it's there Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper met.

Where I'm standing now looks just like the original Vatican City as it was during the height of the power of the Popes.

Every brush stroke of a fresco, every stone and every detail has been recaptured from the memory of the three Volturi heads; the three headed monster.

They rebuilt this city so that its holy energies would drive away any Noble intruders and it's worked so far. I bet you that just one of these paintings of Jesus on the cross would have a Noble's head exploding.

At last I reach the throne room. This is where the Volturi sit and watch the world live and die like Sunday night football.

Caius, Marcus and Aro sit in three chairs that are covered with precious stones and gold. The seat cushions alone are worth more than most Nobles entire fortunes.

The three leaders are protected by a pru shield and guarded by security measures so elaborate, only Dracula has access to better equipment.

When they recreated the Vatican, rebuild the buildings almost by themselves, two kilometres underneath humanity's capital city, the Volturi were sending a giant "suck you" to both human and Noble alike.

Aro is the one on the left with black hair that seems to float. Caius is the white haired one and Marcus is the one who looks almost dead.

Three of them have skin like an onion, thing and nearly see through. But they radiate such a sense of knowledge and wisdom. For a time, they spent centuries in a meditative trance, letting food come to them and seeing the secrets of the universe.

When you get near them, you can feel all that wisdom that's contained in their ancient brains; you can also feel the evil inside, the pure greed and lust for power.

The Volturi are flanked by their private body guards, the best of the best. In front of them, sitting in a meditative pose is Vaisravana, the world's oldest vampire. Once a servant of the Romanian coven, he's a master of every martial art ever created and he was the inspiration for the mythical figure Vessavana; one of the guardians of Mt. Meru in Buddhist mythology.

Vaisravana is a short North Indian guy with big head and bigger shoulders. Don't let the peaceful meditation fool you. He looks so fierce he could eat a baby; and his bite is worse than his bark. His crazy beard and moustache are some of the most legendary I've seen.

At the start of my career, Vaisravana was the one who trained me how to fight.

Flanking Caius is his personal body guard, a psycho Russian guy named Oprichnik, with the emblem of a broom and a severed dogs head on his robes. He was originally a member of Ivan the Terrible's secret police force, the Oprichniki; a pack of loonies who made the Gestapo look like fluffy bunnies. A big boned, brutal Russian, Oprichnik was part of Ivan's three hundred elite "brotherhood." He has no memory of his human life, not even his name. So he calls himself Oprichnik and his sadism and gluttony for blood match even the most brutal Nobles.

Behind Aro is Manchu guy, who under his black robe is the clothing of a fourth level Manchu soldier. I don't know anything about him; his job, his power or his name. Every time I visit here he just stands there smiling, doing nothing whatsoever. If I'm lucky I'll get to see him play with is moustache. Otherwise he's the world's biggest paperweight.

Left of Manchu guy is Herbert West, the Reanimator. As a human, Herbert invented a formula that could bring back dead bodies. As a vampire, he can resurrect anything; all he needs is a little piece of your corpse, even if it's only a single molecule.

Herbert is really more like an advisor than a guard but his talent is very important because it brought back Alec, Dmitri and other members that they've lost.

Aro is the most vocal of the Volturi, Caius is the angry one and since the death of his wife, Marcus has been a zombie. You can throw rocks at him and you could run, get something to eat and have a shower before he even noticed.

Aro, the voice piece of the Volturi, greets me and I curtsy in turn. "Dearest Nessie, these halls have felt cold and empty since you last graced us with your presence."

He just gushes it all out like he actually thinks I have intrinsic value as a person. I bet that rapist Uncles talk to their nieces this way. It sends chills up my spine.

"Nice to meet you again, Aro. Nice to meet you, Caius and Marcus." Caius sneers at me like a white Los Angeles guy objecting to the ghetto kids having access to healthcare. Marcus just grunts and waves.

Aro steps down from his throne and hugs me warmly. More chills run up my spine at his cold touch.

He nuzzles my neck and I want to vomit. Aro with a touch can download every memory you've ever had into his brain. So he already knows everything that happened since we last met; including the fact that I now shave my pubic hair into the shape of a maple leaf. (Hey, it's the right colour. Don't judge me.)

He steps back and gushes some more. "My sweet heart, truly you live a remarkable life. Your very presence is a candle in our dark life."

Yeah, dark is the word.

You know, the reason that he acts like an excited child is because he can afford to. He has absolute power in this organization. Power attracts the corruptible, absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. And the Volturi have in this world the closest thing to absolute power.

Caius takes us straight to the point. With him, there's no left or right or sideways. You do what he wants right away or die. "We have a job for you."

Aro sighs, "Yes child, I'm afraid that we have a job only you can do."

I nod, putting personal feelings aside and adopting an air of professionalism. "What would you like?" As Hugh Jackman once said, "_What are we dealing with and how do I kill it?"_

Aro turns around and gets back on his throne. On cue, Jane comes in; the little cherub who can cause blinding pain in anyone she looks at; even over video monitors.

Jane is no longer the most talented member of the coven but she's still extremely vital in torturing of Nobility for information. Her gaze is as painful as the rays of sun, sometimes even more if the vampire in question is weak.

The tiny Unstet girl glares at me. I think she's jealous. Holding out her hand, she reveals a drei-d projecto-matic.

I use all my ten thousand years of training to keep my emotions hidden. I struggle to control my heartbeat and blush reflexes.

Caius explains. "This is your target."

And the target in question is none other than Vampire Hunter D! They want me to kidnap my own former boyfriend!

Oh snap.

* * *

Ha! Now you'll have to deal with a cliffhanger! Though I must say that I really don't mind cliffhangers. I hope you enjoyed this. Next chapter the Volturi elaborate and Nessie tries to reason with her target.

TA

MAster of the Boot

.


	3. The Evil Twin

Vampire Hunter Nessie and the Twin Shadowed Knight

Chapter 2: The Evil Twin

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Vampirehunter D. THose are owned by Stephanie Meyer and Hyduki Kikuchi. They are both good, but Nessie is my little dear in this :)

* * *

Okay, the Volturi want to hire me to capture or kill Vampire Hunter D. Well, there are several sides to this issue.

Issue one: I refuse to take this job.

If that's the case then they'll find and kill my mother. Dmitri may have had his brains scrambled by Herbert West's reanimation powers but he'll still the best tracker in the universe. Even escaping into an alternate dimension won't throw you off of his trail.

Did I mention that I hate the Volturi? They actually pretend that I have a choice in serving them. At least Aro does. Caius just looks at me like he wants to do me. I'd sooner die than let him eat my Nessie cakes.

Issue two: I take the job.

If I do that then I'm looking at the biggest payday of my career. The Volturi pay very well. Like Vladimir Lenin, they don't actually get paid but they unofficially own every single resource in the land. Like I said, even Dracula doesn't have as much money as they do.

The only problem with taking the job is that I'll be handing over my ex boyfriend to a pack of psychopaths and murderers who'll probably want to experiment on his genitalia.

I know I cried when he and I broke up but I'd rather that nobody experimented on D's genitalia. God knows he got enough of that business from his dad. Ugh.

Now all you little girls listen. Whenever you are in doubt, simply ask. There are no stupid questions. Unless you ask your high school physics teacher what is the total mass of an adult Bantha. In that case, there's the door.

"Is that who I think it is, your majesties?" I ask the three brothers.

Aro's faux friendly voice answers. "Are you asking if this is the legendary Vampire Hunter D; the man who lives as a shade, hated and hunted by all, even those he protects?"

I'd rather not dwell on this topic. The mention of D used to make me catatonic in the days after our breakup and even now I'm still not comfy with the idea.

Caius takes it straight to the point. "It isn't Vampire Hunter D; just some impostor."

There's been a lot of those over the years; none of them can ever really look exactly like D. He's just too beautiful. He's not as studly as the Statue of David; the Statue of David is as studly as him.

Marcus actually talks. It's got to be important for the old guy to wake up. "It's the most perfect impostor to date; a clone of vampire hunter D. He has the same abilities, same powers. He defeated our best guards; took down Vaissravana in hand to hand combat and moved faster than anything we've seen."

I gotta ask. "How did you know it wasn't him?"

Marcus licks his lips and looks at me through half lidded eyes, "I met him three weeks ago. Not caring who he was, I asked him if he wanted to go to the International Chocolate Fudge festival in Nova Warsaw and rape some of the waitresses there. He said yes."

What! He said yes to something? The D i know would never say yes to anything. I had to drag him everywhere; we both enjoyed it on some strange level, like two fighters going at it.

No, if this poser said yes, then he's most certainly a posing poser. He's no D of mine.

I look at Aro. "I'll have to think about this."

Two seconds later.

"I've thought about it. I'm in."

Aro smiles; it's a genuine smile on his part and that makes it all the creepier. "Good girl; I knew that you would come through for your oldest friends."

Friends? Is he trying to make me vomit? The Volturi and I are anything but friends. My loyalty to them goes as far as their ability to threaten me and no more. It's all business.

Suddenly into the room comes Zafrina, one of my favourite people from my childhood. Even after all these millennia, she still walks in that jerky, feral way of moving. It's like she's always on the watchout for danger.

Zafrina is supernaturally beautiful, but her frame is very long and lanky. To be honest, from the shoulders down she's built a lot like the sky captain in _Mad Max_.

When I was just a baby, she would entertain me with her pretty pictures. She had the power to make people see things that weren't there; image projection. She took me on all sorts of trips with those pictures. It was better than TV.

But like so many others, Zafrina suffered a tragedy. She and her clan were living in the Amazon rainforest when the bombs hit. The whole coven of hers was destroyed by the nuclear fire and she was gravely injured.

Imagine waking up seeing your home totally destroyed, the people you love most in the world are dead and you yourself are alive only by random chance.

Yeah, Zafrina didn't take to well to it. For a while she went on the rampage, killing human, mutant, vampire and Nobel wheverever she found them. She very nearly killed me one time.

The Volturi gave her a choice: serve or die.

When I was a little girl, her pictures took me away to magical fairytale places. Now she uses her powers to torture people to the point of insanity; putting them in all kinds of fantasy land hells.

I truly feel for Zafrina because she's a broken woman. All that she has left is revenge, and the Volturi feed that need to keep her broken.

Zafrina waves at me politely. I smile back, but it's like greeting a total stranger. The woman that I once knew is totally gone. She can barely even remember who she is.

Behind Zafrina a captive Noble on a stretcher, hauled by two of the gurards. The Noble is a man, physically aged at the peak of his prime. By his clothes he was once a Noble of some stature; now he's run afoul of the Volturi. Most likely he learned too much

The Nobel struggles against the binds holding him but he has no luck in escaping.

Okay, I admit that I've killed a lot of vampires, Nobel and otherwise. I've killed them all sorts of ways; the only common thread is that I never try to make them suffer.

I'm the executioner, not the judge or the jury.

The Volturi are different. They want you to suffer. If you cross them, they want you die in pain. If they can, they'll make you die loving them; driven insane and made to fall in love with the three demons, just like George Orwell's Big Brother. Aro never did get the real message behind _1984_.

The Volturi are everywhere and nowhere. The only way they don't know about you is if you aren't important. They know all the doors and they hold all the keys. If you're thinking about overthrowing them, just forget about it; believe me I've thought about it.

The captive Nobel can't speak; a huge metal harness is holding his jaw open and pulling on his tongue like a bird plucking a worm. All that he can do is gag and sputter; which even so still sounds strangely beautiful.

The Unstet take to water like sharks. I myself am as fast as any demon fish that swims the seas.

The Nobility are a species that are known to drown in waist deep water. So when the guards come back with a giant cauldron of boiling water, they mean to kill him in the most sadistic way imagineable.

The Noble saw the cauldron and immediately he started struggling and panicking with a new vigour.

I don't know what he'd done, but the barbarity of the Volturi make me want to stop it and set that man free.

Whatever he's done in his life, it's no excuse for the Volturi's sadism.

In the center, Aro laughs and claps as the noble is hefted up by the guards. Caius has a sick grin twisting his face; I think I prefer his usual sneer. And Marcus watches it all like an old man watching a long cancelled TV show.

So children, don't cross the Volturi; no matter who you are.

It hasn't been a few seconds that the Nobel was thrown into the cauldron when Aro speaks to me. "I am sorry you had to see that, sweetest child; but you understand that these creatures have no concept of law and order. They obey only their fiendish bloodlust and the law of their barbaric sacred ancestor."

Like a good little girl, I nod at everything Aro has to say. It isn't easy agreeing with him, but it's a lot easier than agreeing with Caius.

As always, I ignore my instincts and I fall back on traiing and experience. Instinct only gets you into trouble. "What are the terms of the bounty." I cross my arms and flex a bit; show them that I'm not in cute mode right now.

Caius barks at me like a wife beating prick. "The terms of the bounty are that you are to bring this creature to us alive. Prior hunting parties and other bounty hunters have been sent back dead or with heavy losses."

Caius clenches a claw like hand into a fist. "Make no mistake, this creature will be made to see our law and eventually enforce it."

Anger makes Caius look like some kind of witch or demon. He's just got those red eyes and those thin, papery lips that look like they'll split apart.

"I am not normally an advocate of leniency, but we will exploit the talent of this creature and make him serve us."

Aro cuts off Caius's tirade. "For this job you will be provided with weapons as you see fit. Also as final payment you will receive a piece of precious stone whose value would allow a hundred vampires to retire and keep their children in money for five generations."

The money is good; it always is when it comes to the Volturi. I want more than money.

I play it cool and start to turn up the cute factor just a little bit. I'm so cute; did you know that?

I put my hand to my chin. "I don't know. I spend a lot on specialty ammo and on makeup for special parties." I'm lying about the ammo; I can get anti-shield, anti-nano, anti-armour bullets and all kinds of explosives and gadgets from my weapons dealer cheaper than you can get it anywhere else; even those stupid _Weapons-marts._

But my makeup bill is huge; lucky vampire hunting is such a well paying business and I've gotten paid a lot over the years.

I may be the cutest little Misses in the whole universe but I still have to spend a lot of money to look good.

"Tell you what, Aro, Caius, Marcus. You guys can keep that shiny gem, pretty as it may be; you can pay for all my makeup. That means masquera, lipstick and the whole nine yards."

Annoyance flashes across Aro's face. "No!" he barks, as Marcus and Caius look like they're about to consent.

Caius and Marcus haven't been in my head like Aro so they don't know what it is that I'm asking.

Caius just looks at Aro like he's a fool. Marcus is impassive; like he's in a coma but awake.

They bicker with each other for a little bit, like three sisters.

Then slowly and sweetly, Aro talks to me. "Child, dear Renesmee; wouldn't you rather have the shiny gem. Surely you can buy cosmetics on your own?"

On the inside I've got a pig in muck grin; Aro is exactly where I want him to be.

Pulling up all the humility that I don't have, I say to Aro. "I'm sorry your grace, but a humble hunter like me doesn't deserve such a lovely treasure." The cuteness factor goes up full blast and my voice becomes high pitched _like this wittle thing_. _Are you gonna make me cwy_?

It's one trick that never fails and Caius and Marcus look like they won't budge on the issue. They'd rather pay me in cosmetics. I make enough money on the job that I don't need their blood money.

Finally, after a bit more Cinderalla wicked step sister style bickering in front of everyone. Aro reaches a decision. It's the exact opposite of when Aro intervened on my behalf at the battle that wasn't.

He smiles but on the inside he knows that he's lost this fight. "Very well child, though that gem would have looked stunning on you."

I smile and curtsy. "Thank you, your graces. Now if you don't mind, you gave me a job I must do."

With my small victory under my belt, I wait to be dismissed. There's no point ignoring court etiquette; even if the court is located in a perfect recreation of the Vatican City underneath the former Capitol of the vampires protected by a firestorm of deathtraps and mazes to make Dedelaus green with envy.

Before I can leave, Aro asks me to do something that I really don't like doing.

I hate it. It's a degrading and humiliating thing he's asking me to do! I wish that I could just kick him in the groin with my too-big feet. What, you've never dreamed about killing your boss?

Reluctantly I take the can of soft drink that Aro offers me. It's called _Nozz-a-la_. The stuff comes from an alternate universe; the Volturi keep a dimensional portal in their basement. Men and their friggin toys. They need to throw some of that stuff out.

Familiar with this dance, I drink down the foul tasting drink. I swear it's even less healthy than a coke.

At the Volturi's side, Oprichnik grins unpleasantly behind his classic Russian beard. He creeps me out.

Vaissravana's face is expressionless but highly alert.

Manchu guy just stands there and smiles. He's been doing that since who knows when.

Holding the empty can in my hand, I glare at Manchu guy. "You," I jab a finger at him.

Miraculoulsy he stops smling. Manchu guy then points at himself as if he's saying, "_you talking to me?_"

I keep pointing at him and yell. "Get a real job!"

He raises his eyebrows and holds out his arms like he wants to say. "_What you say, woman?_"

I turn to Aro and flutter my eyelashes. "Sorry Aro, but that guy annoys me."

Aro chuckles. He's in such a good mood because he's going to see me do a trick. "Oh my little one; why didn't you say so?"

The most talkative Volturi brother turns to Manchu guy. "Piss off. Go hunt."

Manchu guy is looking hurt. I almost feel bad for him; but guys that smile all the time scare me. :(

Before he leaves, Manchu guy flips me the bird, but Aro doesn't say a thing. Darn Manchu guy.

Well, there's no point in keeping my audience aiting. Actually, after all that I'm kinda looking forward to doing this.

I pull down my tight black tanktop and expose some cleavage, which I don't show while at work.

I stuff the can between my boobs and flex my pectoral muscles three times. I'm very fit.

A second later, I pull out the can from between my man lures and hand it to Aro. Now the aluminum can looks just like a model puppy dog.

I impress even me. It's such a cute little aluminum puppy dog. I love doggies!

Aro smiles and takes the aluminum puppy. "Go forth, my dear; be safe."

Okay, time to blow this popsicle stand. I've got work to do and I have a brilliant plan to get it done.

Step 1: Find D's evil Clone

Step 2: Catch D's evil Clone

Step 3: Get the prosti-dudes back and get some laying done!

Right, I'm going to need weapons to fight this guy. Duh. And weapons is something that I've never had a problem getting my hands on.

Psycho Ammar got me some new mini explosives last time. I think that I'm going to have fun testing them out.

Watch out, Evil D! If you're as evil as I think you are, you'd better watch your back. I'm a girl that _nobody_ wants to mess with.

* * *

And that's the end of that. I hope you enjoyed this, because in the next chapter Nessie goes toe to toe with Evil D. School has started so updates will become a lot slower now :) But don't worry, they won't stop entirely. Tune in next week as Nessie fights D's evil Twin.

Ta

Master of the Boot


	4. Cried before the Fall

Vampire Hunter Nessie and the Twin Shadowed Knight

Chapter Three: Cried before the Fall

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Vampire Hunter D. Those belong to Steph Meyer and Hyduki Kikuchi. I make no revenue from this and do not distribute it for commercial purposes. Warning, this chapter features explicit fighting and some adult content which may not be suitable for kids. If this disturbs you then please walk away.

* * *

Hey ladies and gents! Nessie is back and she's got her whole bag of tricks with her!

Unfortunately you nice people are going to have to wait in line for me to do the cute and sweet act. Right now I've got an act of murder to commit.

Right at this very moment, the Evil D imposter that I've been assigned to kill is within the sights of my gun.

Can I pull the trigger on this guy, knowing full well that he looks exactly like the man that I loved and still love with all my heart?

_Psha,_ of course!

When I get to killing, I just pull out that dark heart which is in every one of us. And it's worse in the cute girls because we think we're entitled to our Jane Austen/fairytale ending.

Look at it this way, if I was in at the Build-a-Bear shop making an adorable little teddy bear for myself and a suicide bomber came in, I'd gun the bugger down totally without prejudice.

I wouldn't just shoot him; I'd put both barrels of a shotgun into his face and then I'd put two more shotgun blasts into his chest and then I'd stab him ninety three times.

And then I would go back to selecting my pretty, cute wittle teddy bear and pretend that the whole horrible thing was done by somebody else.

So that's me. Renesmee Carlie Cullen; daddy's little monster.

So I've been tracking Evil D for about three days now. I needed to be sure that I had the right target. It would suck if I were to gun down the man that I love.

Well, I did see him rape some cocktail waitresses back at the last town so I figured that it must be the guy.

Having witnessed that one act of cruelty, I ran ahead of the bad boy and set down a few traps.

Evil D is heading down the road on a cyborg horse. Unlike real D, this guy likes to abuse and beat his worse like a disobedient wife. Already I'm feeling better about killing this guy.

Having covered myself in dirt, dust and a spiffy gillie suit, I stand out less; crucial to my role as a sniper. I've been around on ten thousand years; a little seven hour wait isn't going to bother me.

Evil D is almost at the booby traps I left for him now. I know that his senses will be as keen as those on the good D. In case he doesn't trigger the traps or he notices them, I've got a remote control in a little ring on my pinkie.

The horse is getting closer.

In my own mind, I start to slow down my heartbeat until my hummingbird heart is only doing eight beats a minute. I don't want my pulse to interfere with my shot; lucky vampires with their non-beating hearts.

Evil D is almost at the little surprise that I've buried in the road.

My sniper rifle is perfectly tuned and hidden in my utility belt are a bunch of little goodies in case he gets within close range.

His horse is about to trigger the trap—

And then suddenly he jumps off the back of his steed.

Shit, that cocksucker noticed the bomb.

With my swearing quote fulfilled for the next ten thousand years, I do what any soldier would do and I open fire on that sucker.

Like a pro, I fire three precisely placed rounds at the imposter; one aimed for his head and two aimed for his heart. These bullets are specially made to have a pretty liquid inside; a mix of holy water and a chemical that instantly rusts metal. I'm trusting on it to melt that fancy sword of his.

By now the horse has stepped on the bomb and thousands of bullet bees shoot out of the ground, mad as—well—bees, I suppose.

Instantly, the bullet bees live up to their name and rip apart the horse like a dozen WW1 machine gun nests. The poor animal manages to give half a whinny before the bullet bees ventilate it and spill horse guts and blood all over the dirt road.

My three shots are almost about to hit evil D; the propulsion system inside each bullet ensures that the projectiles don't slow down from their supersonic speed.

At that exact same time, the bullet bees start speeding towards evil D as fast as—you guessed it—bullets. You win a friggin prize.

To my surprise, Evil D whips out two identical single action revolvers. There's nothing special about them, just two crudely crafted revolvers made out of black gunmetal and synth-wood handles.

He spins around the guns on his fingers like a cowboy trick shooter and to my very great surprise; he deflects all three bullets aimed at him with the spinning handles of his guns. To show for it, he doesn't even have a scratch on his guns. Those bullets should have gone through three inches of armour plating at ten miles away.

As I register this, the bullet bee swarm hits him. The little killer bees fly at him but their metallic bodies are instantly crushed midair by the spinning revolver handles of evil D.

He's looking much more like a cowboy than D ever did.

Not moving from my sniper's spot, I unload the rest of my ten round clip at him. The bullet bee swarm tries to surround him but he's too fast for them and more of the artificial insects fall to the ground dead.

Still using his right revolver to wipe out the bee swarm, he holsters his left gun and whips out his long sword. With that sword as long as he is tall, evil D actually cuts my bullets in half in mid air. I was expecting that but I wasn't prepared for the metal corroding chemical to have no effect on his sword whatsoever.

The whole fight has lasted less than ten seconds and already he's decimated the swarm of bullet bees.

To my shock, he looks right at where I am and he winks at me.

Okay, nobody can wink at me that I haven't given permission to.

Thumbing my remote control ring, I set off some more goodies that I planted around him.

A cleverly concealed claymore mine opens a deadly hail of shrapnel that's too fast and too dispersed to be blocked even by his fancy revolvers.

Speed loading like you only see in gears of war, I've got a fresh clip in my weapon and I put a bead right between evil D's eyes.

His gaze meets mine; eyes absolutely full of hated and angelic features twisted into a terrifying scowl. His entire body is riddled with silver shrapnel and every wound is smoking. The agony he must be in is exquisite.

I was rather hoping that the claymore might be able to kill him; but at least it softened him up some.

Evil D charges at me with revolver in one hand and sword in the other.

Now is not the time to play Suzie home sniper so I spring up from my hiding spot and start backpeddlng, all while setting off more bombs and booby traps for dessert.

Unfortunately all my efforts come to exactly Jack squat. He either shoots my bullets out of midair with his revolver or slices them in half with his sword.

My traps aren't working; not my bombs, acid sprays, nano killers, poison gas dispensers or reality distorters.

That damn coat of his seems to be everything proof. He's jumping around like a monkey, avoiding my suppressing fire and getting ever closer.

In a single leap, he's upon me.

His sword comes towards my neck like a silvery crescent of beheading. To meet the challenge, I use Davy (my sniper rifle) and swing the battle axe gun stock at the sword blade.

Evil D's blade slices through Davey like a heckling crowd eating up a bad comedian's patience. Oh crap.

Ducking to avoid the blade, it flies over top of my head and slices off part of my copper hair. Bastard, that's the only part of me that grows at a human rate!

It's time to take out the twins, double barrel and shotgun. Dodging an overhead strike from his blade, I jump in the air and let loose the fury of my ten gauge shotguns.

Unlike regular bullets, he can't deflect the buckshot with his word or shoot it with his revolver. The shotgun blast hits him just below the heart and blasts a bowling ball sized hole in him.

Flying backwards from the force of the blow, Evil D opens fire at me with his six-gun. Seriously, doesn't that thing ever run out of ammo?

Before he can take another swing with the sword, I fire a shotgun blast right into his leg. I was aiming for his head but it feels good to see his leg get blown off at the knee.

I'll hand it to him; he's ever bit as resistant to silver coated buckshot as D is. And that's saying something since I melted down the silver from holy crosses blessed by my grandpa Carlisle. God bless that old soul ;)

A Nobel who got shot like that would be crying like a baby and begging for mamma. Instead, evil D just swings his sword around and slices my shotguns in half.

Thinking on my feet, I throw a marble sized pellet at him. It pays to be prepared.

The little pellet explodes and creates a sphere of intense heat five times as hot as the surface of the sun.

The pellets are designed not to harm the user, only what's inside the sphere of fire; but I can still feel my eyebrows burn right off.

My eyes adjust to the drop in light when the sun pellet burns out. There's nothing left of where he stood but destruction; but I know better than to presume a target dead too quickly.

Speak of the devil; there he is!

Evil D stands before me, sword and revolver combo ready and he's got a rape face grin on his stupid, imposter face!

He's missing a friggin foot and he still dodged my attack. Even I'm not that fast. It's not fair. (Pouty face)

I'm not defenceless and I block his sword with my baseball bat.

The guy is stronger than me and he's faster. That sword of his should have shattered before my beloved bat, but no such luck.

I try to knock his head off but his defence is perfect and mine is just barely holding. Remember that he's only got one foot while doing this dance. I have two.

My bat is badly damaged when he finally gets the killing strike.

Evil D winks at me again and reaches into his cloak.

Seizing on the opportunity, I try to drive the end of my baseball bat into him like a battering ram.

What he's trying to grab falls to my feet and my bat end hits him. When it hits him, it has the same effect as a cannon ball.

Evil D is thrown back and the bat rips a giant hole in him big enough to shove a tractor through.

He lies on the ground twenty feet away from me and he still manages to smile.

I go to run at him but a tide of microscopic robots covered my vision.

Clever bastard. He jacked one of my booby traps and used it against me. Lucky that I've build up immunity to nanites or right now I'd be nothing but a pile of gore.

Unfortunately after they are killed by my immune system, the nano probes leave me in a bad place. The nanites totally destroy my weapons and clothes.

I'm now naked and unarmed against a man who's willing and more than able to kill me, if he's feeling lenient. It's every woman's nightmare.

Evil D lunges at me and I throw a fist at him. He dodges and I try to land a kick, but I may as well be caught in a tar pit.

In a moment which my eidetic memory will never let me forget, my enemy takes the barrel of his revolver and shoves it deep into my vagina.

It's not enough for him to kill me; he has to rape me as well. Agony rips my guts as he pulls the trigger not once but six times.

As perverse as it sounds, this isn't the first time I've had a deadly weapon shoved into my body against my will. Those times hurt worse than any other sort of flesh wound and for some reason the agony inside my gut causes me the greatest pain that I've ever felt.

My brain is frozen like ice as my emotions shut down to protect my mind.

Catching his wrist in my knees, I squeeze as hard as I can and I'm finally rewarded with a scream. His wrist is crushed in my legs and separates from the rest of his arm.

Meanwhile my vaginal muscles clench and the revolver is mangled into an unrecognizable mess.

Throwing an elbow into his jaw, I reach into his belt and grab his other revolver from him. I cock the hammer and aim right at his heart—

Only for his sword to flash seven different ways and slice me into bits.

In a shower of blood, my vivisected body hits the ground and my head rolls.

I've lost.

* * *

And that's all folks! Nessie is in the worst spot she's ever been. Will she get out of this? Find out in the next chapter as D's evil clone has his way with our plucky heroine. But I promise you that if she lives, she's gonna raise some hell.

I'd like to give thanks to my reviewers and readers before I go. You people make it worthwhile ;)

Ta

Master of teh Boot


	5. Powdered Sugar

Vampire Hunter Nessie and the Twin Shadowed Knight

Disclaimer: I do now own Twilight or Vampire Hunter D. This chapter is dedicated to all my friends and reviewers, because without you none of this would be possible.

Chapter Four: Revenge is a dish best served with powdered sugar

By the time the fight was over, Evil D has raped me with his pistol and slashed me to a dozen bloody pieces on the ground. I'd failed in my mission and now I was paying the price.

He laughed and taunted me as he watched the bloody pieces try to recombine. He began to take his remaining revolver and shoot the pieces of me into smaller pieces.

Judging by the smell of the burned powder, he was only using twentieth century percussion cap gunpowder cartridges. There was no way his bullets should have been so effective against my rock hard flesh. I mean, my sexy woman flesh is as hard as armour oak.

After he shot the pieces of me, including my head; he started to take off his jacket and use it as a sack.

Did I mention that he shot me in the head? This caused me to go into a super neato flashback :D

I know I should be more aware of my situations but I got molested by an evil clone of my boyfriend and I don't talk about myself enough.

_Flashback_

_I remember my first day of high school. I was so especially pleased with myself. I'd been homeschooled all my life and today was the day that Renesmee Carlie Cullen was going to make her mark on the scene. _

_I lived with my mother and father in a town called Forks, Washington. It was a totally boring, icky place but my mom met my dad here. _

_I always swore back then that they were such a couple of old people. Luckily, I was never going to grow old. I would be young forever and when I was six years old I thought that was a good thing. _

_My accelerated growth caused me to look twenty one when I was really only six. I was the most special child in the world. I never needed diapers, I had a super sense of empathy for my age and I was so terribly smart. _

_Yes, at that age of six I was even more full of myself and shallower than I am today. Not that I'm shallow today but when I think back to when I was six I cringe at the stupid little girl I was. _

_That first day, I strutted in like a peacock. It was my determination to be the new queen bee of high school. I wanted to be the trend setter and heart breaker. Getting good grades wasn't even part of my naive plans for school. _

_My family was wealthy and I was a proven genius according to internationally recognized tests. To me, any more education was a joke. _

_My aunts and uncles all languished through high school, struggling with control of human blood and having to sit through it over and over again for decades on end. But for me, high school was finally a place where I could shine. _

_I'd already earned my parents love and admiration by being born. What I wanted the most was to go out and impress complete strangers. _

_By far, my personality back then had the depth of a shot glass. Pretty things made me happy; I saw to it personally that Jake always gave me shiny things every day. They didn't have to be expensive; I was just such a little magpie. _

_Before they moved to try and take a break from high school, my aunts and uncles and grandparents were all involved in very cerebral hobbies. Rosalie loved repairing cars. I just loved smashing them. Uncle Jasper had a whole study full of books, but aside from home schooling I'd never read anything except fashion magazines. _

_My mother was furious to find out that I didn't like Pride and Prejudice. It wasn't a bad book; it's just that I was too lazy to get past the first three pages. Everything about it seemed to archaic_

_To me, more or less nothing existed before I was born. In every sense of the world, I was a true teenager; narcissistic like a child and mouthy like an adult. _

_My parents just hoped that I'd grow out of it, but looking back I wish they would have given me a few more smacks across the face. Hindsight is twenty twenty, foresight is blind. _

_So on my first day of school, I had romantic notions about what it was going to be like based on TV shows that I'd watched with Jake. _

_I was immediately disappointed by the buildings that made up Forks High School. It was just a bunch of dingy buildings. Like a whiney little prep, I refused to see the bright side to things. I was by far the most lovely thing in the school. I should have been nothing but grateful. _

_I walked into the gates of school and more or less repeated the same routine that my mother had done. Ask for a class schedule followed by the receiving of said schedule. The same old woman who greeted my mother to that school was there to do the same for me. _

_I was a very pretty, vain thing and overall I was merely a very pretty waste of oxygen. _

_That first day Jacob Black was with me. He was a member of the local wolf pack and I was his imprint. When I was born, Jake saw me and I became the center of his universe. It was as simple as that. Whatever I wanted, he would want also. It was any girl's fantasy; a man who is totally and completely helpless to her will. _

_Of course, he always tried to steer me on the straight and narrow but I never fully appreciated what he meant to me and what he'd done for me until he was murdered. _

_For that first class, I was lucky enough to share first period with Jake. He and I sat there in class while the teacher did introductions for the whole class. He said his own name and asked the others in the class to share their names. _

_Naturally, my hand was the first to go up in the air. I may have been shallow back then but I was as bold as I am today. Unlike my mother, I loved calling attention to myself at every opportunity. _

_For my class introduction, I gave a short and completely insincere speech about what I hoped to accomplish during my three year tenure here and how I loved everyone even though I'd never met them. _

_I made a fool of myself, but my pride was in such a state that I really didn't care. _

_So I sat down and soon all but a few of the misfit students had volunteered their names. In a vague way I pitied the misfit students but not enough to really do anything to help them. My sense of empathy was great but it was no match for my considerable vanity. _

_I spend the whole class doing what young, rich kids are supposed to do; I doodled on my notebook and passed notes back and forth to Jake. _

_While it was fun, it was a complete waste of time. I was only six years old and already my life was going nowhere. _

_The day passed, I moved from class to class; I dazzled them all in gym by proving what a superior volleyball player I was. _

_Everything seemed to go according to plan until the final period. I remember that it was biology class and the lecture was particularly boring. _

_To keep myself amused, I resorted to writing down descriptions of everyone in the room and writing short "factual" summaries about them. _

_I started with the teacher and then moved onto the popular kids. After that, I went onto the semi popular kids, the jocks and all the way down the arbitrary ladder of the school hierarchy until I settled . . . on him. _

_There he was, sitting at the back of the class. Almost immediately I felt heartbroken for the poor lonely creature who was surrounded by several unoccupied desks; everyone was afraid to sit near him. He just seemed to give off this barely perceptible aura of fear and despair. _

_Everyone around him could only look at him from the corner of their eye. Looking at him directly would have only made the humans want to claw their eyes out because they were unworthy to look at him. _

_The clothes he wore were brand name, but they were shabby and worn. For a girl who went clothes shopping every day, it was a new experience to see someone who looked like they'd gotten their clothes second hand. _

_Everything he wore was black, from his shoes to his fingernails; everything was done up in a deeper black than any I'd ever seen. He looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. More than anything, I wanted to see him smile and dress in a rainbow. Tragically yet beautifully, he wore the colour of sorrow and evil on him. It did contrast nicely with his pale skin._

_I profoundly pitied this lonely creature in the back of the class; surrounded by people and yet totally alone. _

_I wanted to ask him his name, find out where he came from and who his parents were. Based on the worn state of his clothes I assumed that his parents must be very poor or very negligent. _

_The simple fact of his existence was making me question my own. In my own existence filled with laughter, sunshine and honey; this was the first time that I'd ever seen anything truly dark or imperfect. _

_I'd always dreamed of finding a handsome prince to marry me and live in luxury for ever and ever, but I was strangely taken by the brooding, lonesome stranger in the back of the room. _

_I knew that my parents would never accept him and that made the very idea of him seem all the more exotic and titillating. _

_All he really needed, I decided, was a bit of love. Under that curtain of hair I could see his handsome mouth and full lips turned downwards into a scowl that was the apotheosis of all the nihilistic scowls that teenaged boys are all so fond of wearing. _

_Looking at him through the corner of my eye, all thoughts of Jake were simply pushed out of my mind. I was already beginning to raise this handsome gargoyle above my childhood friend and puppy. _

_Class was relatively nondescriptive. We were reviewing simple cell biology, something that I knew like the back of my hand. For our lab, we were required to observe cell samples at various states of cell division. Back at home I'd done this with blastula fish but at school they used slides of onion root. _

_Due to limited resources we were required to partner up. I knew immediately how I was going to go and work with. _

_Getting up from my desk, I stood and adjusted my shoulder length hair and fiddled with the tacky earrings that I was so in love with. _

_Purposefully I strode in the direction of the pale skinned stranger in the back. The thought of seeing how lovely his face was under that curtain of emo hair simply pushed away all thoughts of biology or mitosis from my mind. I truly believed that I could get any friend I wanted and I wanted him. _

_He didn't even turn in my direction until I was almost on top of him; although I'm sure that he sensed me approaching much sooner than that. _

_I knew he was human but I wasn't sure what species he was. Like many girls my age I thought myself invincible to the dangers of the world. Bad stuff only happened to bad girls and anything else my family would protect me from. I had no clue that there was another vampire species in the world whose very genetics were infected with the DNA of a psychopath nearly five hundred years undead. _

_Nor did I have any clue that I was looking at the most perfect blend of light and darkness in the universe. _

_I stood over the young boy as he was preparing his own microscope grudgingly. He got to have a whole kit to himself yet nobody said otherwise to him or complained to the teacher. They were all too afraid and too happy to ignore the wolf in their midst. _

_Slowly and deliberately he turned slightly in my direction, though he never looked at me directly. All he did was observe the smiling, vapid girl standing over him, as wanted and desired as the plague. _

"_Hi," I chirped in my most friendly voice. He made no outward sign that he'd even heard me. _

_I continued with my plan which hinged on him being instantly won over by my beauty. "I'm Renesmee but my friends call me Nessie. Do you want to work with me?" I then tried to look as cute as Aunt Alice had taught me to be. _

_I failed miserably. _

"_I work alone," he said. "Piss off." _

_After school I ran home crying like a little baby. _

_Despite my crying fit, I went right back again the next day and went after the young boy's heart. With the power of attrition on my side, I eventually won over the heart of the young teenaged boy who would one day grow into the cold blooded and lethal vampire hunter D. _

_To my knowledge, I am the first and last women to ever break into his heart and I never even said, "I love you, D." _

* * *

When I came too, it was just in enough time to see a kraken devour my head whole, along with various other parts of my body. Various deep sea monsters created by the nobility ate the disembodied parts of my physique.

However my blood is heavily laced with venom and in short order, the creatures that were created using vampire DNA and could survive any non-supernatural means of death were suddenly curling up and dying.

In the case of my more mobile body parts, they simply tore their way out of the stomachs of sea creatures; burrowing out like parasitic larvae ready to hatch.

My own head finally got a bite at the kraken's intestines and chewed my way out, causing fecal matter to leak into the creature's blood and poison it badly. Serves the big lug right, I suppose.

After my body parts broke free of their fleshy prisons, it took two years for my disembodied parts to finally meet each other on the sea floor and reattach. During this time, I entered a special meditative state where my metabolism would lower and food would come to me. The Volturi used such a state to see the truth of the world.

Two years was nothing both for me and for the Volturi.

I crawl onto the shores of the frontier and I eat all the fruit from a nearby fig tree. I'm starving, naked . . . and very very mad.

I don't think that the evil D really has a clue of what he's done by making me so peeved off.

I'm a professional assassin, death is my trade and I leave my sense of empathy at the door. In truth I look back on my life with a sense of constant shame. I see the pain that I've caused and I never stop regretting it.

But I've got a job to do and I won't ever stop until it's done and done right.

Do you know what it's like to be afraid? Do you know what it's like to be convinced that at any moment somebody could break down your door, take you away and there'd be nothing anyone could do about it?

I know the feeling.

I remember when D's bastard father killed Jacob Black. He didn't have any real reason for killing Jake; expect to get back at me for breaking up with his son. He went and cut off Jake's head before my eyes.

That whole time, I kept hoping that someone would save me.

Nobody came. Dracula came, killed, and then went without any punishment whatsoever. I've killed thousands of vampires of both species, Nobel and Unstet but I've yet to see Dracula show his cowardly face or pay for his crimes in any meaningful way.

The next time he decides to kill someone for whatever petty, flimsy reason I want to be there.

The next time somebody decides that he can kill without punishment I hope to be there to rip out his eyes and laugh in his ears.

More than anything though, I want to be the hero. I don't just want to kill people, I want to save them. And more than the hurt and smashed faces of Nobles I've killed, what keeps me going is the faces of would be victims when I take my hatred and superior strength and use it to save someone's life.

Men like Dracula and Evil D have done for too long and left too many victims. It's time to stop it. The trail of bodies ends here. They can choose to surrender . . . or they die.

I clench my fists and watch as the sun rises on a brand new day. I smile most evilly. How do you do? My name is Nessie. Now you're going to die.

* * *

That's a wrap ladies and gents :D Next chapter our sweet little Nessie shows Evil D the meaning of the word ass kicking. Their second meeting will be an epic showdown of good and evil which you will not want to miss. :)

Ta

Master of teh Boot


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